At some point, we all come face-to-face with self-doubt. It convinces us that we can't do the things we want, that we aren't worth more than our mistakes, and that we're only defined by our worse moments. Oftentimes, this self-doubt cripples us. It leaves us with anxiety, fear, depression, confusion, sadness, you name it. But mostly, it makes us question and second guess ourselves and our worth. So how do we avoid this and how, if we find ourselves questioning our worth, do we overcome this?
I think we have to start by focusing on moving through our self-doubt instead of simply trying to avoid it. If we don't teach ourselves how to do this, then when we face triggering situations, we aren't able to cope with doubt and we forget our worth. Think about it, if we spend all of our time avoiding situations that make us uncomfortable, or force us to take risks we won't build our self-confidence. We can't build ourselves up if we don't put ourselves in situations designed to do just that.
We also have to start understanding that most of what people tell us "defines us" actually doesn't. Here's the thing; your worth is not determined by your job, other people's opinions, how productive you are in a day, your social media, where you are in life, etc. You're worth is determined by who you are and what you tell yourself.
What do I mean? I mean you're in control of your life. Ed Mylett (who if you don't follow/listen to you need to start) always says "Things happen for us, not to us." and it's true. Yes, there will be things that happen that are completely out of your control. People will say and do things, situations will arise, and circumstances will change but you can choose how to respond and how you let those external forces affect you. If you choose to allow these outside things to have control over your life, you will forget your worth. You will become so wrapped up in what is happening to you, that you forget that you are more than these things.
You are in control. You are the one who decides how you will react. You decide what you want to put your energy into. You're self-talk, your mindset, how you treat yourself - all of this helps you remember and know your worth. So, you have to stop telling yourself you aren't worth anything after you make a mistake. You have to tell yourself you're worth more than that bad relationship or that toxic work environment. You have to promise yourself that even in situations where a risk didn't pay off the way you wanted, or you feel so uncomfortable that you want to disappear, that you are worth more.
Once you begin to teach yourself to focus on what you can control and that you are worth more than the bad situation you find yourself in, you will begin to know your worth. You will know your worth with so much certainty that nothing can convince you that you're worthless.
And, if you aren't there yet, know that you are loved, you are important, you are worthy, and there are people out there who believe in you!
