I recently sat down with my long-time bestie, Sarah Sem for an episode of her podcast, A Little Bit Unfiltered. We chatted about everything from work boundaries, to moving back in with our parents and it got me thinking, how the heck have I not done a blog post on this yet?
For some of you, you may be moving home for the summer and for others you may be moving home for an extended stay (like I did). Either way, moving back in with your parents comes with its, shall we say, adjustments.
Before I jump into my top 5 tips for moving back I just want to acknowledge that I am so fortunate to have an incredible relationship with both of my parents and my younger brother - which is not something everyone has! That being said, sometimes the situation looks a little different for everyone and I totally acknowledge that! These are just some of the things that worked for my family, and I have shared with friends also going through this type of transition.
Also, it's important to recognize that moving back home is not a failure. Life looks different than it did a decade ago, and rent and housing is expensive! You are not the only one moving back in with your parents - and speaking from experience, it really is one of the best choices I've ever made!
Now, let's get into some tips that make this transition a little easier in my opinion!
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries
Here's the deal. Yes, you are moving back in with your parents but no you are not a teenager anymore. That means that everyone has different boundaries. I'm sure you all are just like me and you got really used to having your own schedule, and system within your apartment, dorm room, etc. Just like your family got really used to you not being there! (Sorry, but it's true).
That's why boundaries are so important. You have to respect that maybe having people over with music blasting until all hours of the evening doesn't work for the rest of your family, while they have to respect that there may be nights where you get home late.
My parents and I fortunately have a great system that really works for all of us (and it's super easy to implement). We just text each other if we're planning to be gone late, out of town, etc. Like I said, my parents and I have a great relationship and one of the things we often do is eat dinner together - which is why we like to let each other know if we're going to be home late. But, this system may look a little different for you and your family.
Bottom line, establish some boundaries for everyone and it will make living together and readjusting to one another so much easier!
Purge Your Stuff
When I decided to move back to Vermont it was arguably the worst time in the world to move. I'm serious, I couldn't even find a U-Haul to rent. Which meant that my dad and brother had to road trip to Kentucky, help me pack only to then drive back to Vermont and help me move everything into the basement. That being said, there was not a ton of room between my dad's truck and my car for the 5 years worth of stuff I'd collected.
That's why I always recommend purging your stuff before moving home. I went through every single room in my house and was brutally honest with myself. If I hadn't worn/used it in 6 months to a year I got rid of it. Some stuff I sold, some I gave to friends and some I donated. Everything that was super old broken or wasn't going to be used by anyone else got thrown away or recycled.
You'd be amazed how many places will take donations of all kinds though! I found a local church that took everything from school supplies to furniture to donate most of my items to. I also used Poshmark and ThredUp to get rid of my old clothes!
Not only does getting rid of a bunch of your old items make it easier to pack and move, but it also takes up less room at home!
If you do have a good amount of things to store at home, I highly recommend picking up a pack or two of these metal shelves! They're easy to assemble, easy to store when you aren't using them, and it helps keep all of your things organized and separate from the rest of the household items if you need!
Make Time for Yourself
Just like when you're living with roommates, sometimes it's hard to spend time by yourself. Whether it's because everyone is home at the same time or even because you like spending time with everyone at home, it's easy to neglect yourself and forget that making time for yourself is important.
I'm someone who needs to spend time alone, with friends and with family to feel fully recharged. Sometimes, I need to spend more time alone or out of the house, and sometimes I want to be home with my family. I find that checking in with myself and making time for the things that help me is the best way I can regulate my emotions and make it possible for me to live with my family without becoming a complete gremlin (it's true).
If you're the same way, I've found being honest is usually the best course of action for me. ON nights where I just want to sit in my room and binge watch TV or read my book, that's what I do. Sometimes my family will ask what I'm doing, but for the most part they understand and leave me be.
Whatever you need to do, finding time for yourself is so important and makes living at home that much easier!
Help Out Where You Can
It seems simple, but this really does go such a long way. Everyone's situation is different so this will look a little different for everyone but I find that helping out where I can at home really makes a difference. Not only is it a nice thing to do, but it also makes me feel like I'm working towards something as well.
In my case, I've been helping my dad with yard work (mainly so I can drive the 4-wheeler but shh), helping with things around the house, and offering to pick things up when I'm in town. Sometimes, something as simple as offering to make dinner one night is all you need to do to help out.
Whatever it is, whether it's something big or small, it's a great way to make the transition easier!
Save Your Money
For most people (not all but most), moving home can be a better financial decision. Personally, it was a better financial decision for me to move home and I really wanted to take advantage of that. If you're in the same boat, I highly recommend finding ways to save your money!
I've decided to use my time at home to pay off other loans and debts I've acquired from school. To do this I've found it helpful to try and budget similarly to how I did when I was paying way more in rent. If you can, what I recommend is taking the amount you were paying in rent, and if your new situation allows you to spend less in that area, reallocate that money to something else - like a savings account.
I'm still trying to get good at this but I really do find that this is the best way to save money and take advantage of living at home!
There you have it, some of my top tips for making the transition back home easier! Believe me, living with your parents can have it's challenges, but for me it really has been the best decision I've made in a long time!
Share your top tips for living at home in the comments below!